When we were potty training my son, I was so worried about how I
reacted to accidents.
Whether you call it an “accident” or an “incident,” poop on the
floor is a buzz-kill. I know it’s not the child’s fault, but it’s still
aggravating after you’ve asked him five times if he has to go potty and he says
“no,” and then goes on the floor.
Of course, you don’t want the kid to know you’re aggravated, so you
put on a fake smile and say “ok, next time we’ll use the potty!” (Saying “we”
instead of “you” is inevitable for parents, no matter how much we despise
ourselves when we hear it come out of our mouths.)
But here’s the thing. Isn’t there a limit to how much
fakeness and tiptoeing we should do around our kids?
We have to accept that we’re human. We have to be able to
feel things. I think kids can sense it when you’re trying to hide your
negative reactions.
Someone once suggested to me that I have my son help clean up any
messes he makes, even if they come from his own body. That sounded cruel
at first, but then I tried it and it really helped.
I just said “ok, you made a poop on the floor. Now let’s
clean it up.” It became a consequence, not a punishment. And over
time, the “accidents” stopped. I even felt less angry, because I didn’t
have to clean it up by myself.)
Of course, having a toddler help you clean can be a chore unto
itself. But that’s another story...
